Who do I pick? Guy on the left or guy on the right?

So over the weekend I was invited to a Rockies game. Two guys; two girls. For me it was a set up. I usually dread these things. People have the best intentions, but I'm always amazed at who they think my perfect match should be! Anyway, I went. We met at a restaurant beforehand and walked over to the game together.... and to my amazement this guy was normal! This guy had a brain! This guy actually had something meaningful to contribute to the conversations! Yea me! When I forgot my sunglasses he lent me his hat. Very nice guy overall. He sat to my left at the ball game.

Meanwhile to my right was an entire family. There was a cute little girl, maybe 5ish, and she and I chatted a bit while she sat on her grandmother's lap. Idle chit chat with a cute family. 15 minutes later I notice the grandmother is no longer sitting next to me. Instead it's the young guy, the son? I compliment him on his adorable daughter... and we triggered a conversation. It turns out she was his sister's daughter. He was not married. No kids. Two years older than me. Bingo! Finally someone older than me! We had nice conversation the entire 2nd half of the game and even during the fireworks. And he asked me for my number! Problem was, guy #1 most definitely noticed... and call me selfish but I'd really like to get to know them both! Got a text from family guy on my right, but more-so confirming he has my info. Really I haven't heard from either. It's only Monday. We will see!

Girl-code violation

So I've been on a bit of a natural high since by Vegas bday! Now that summer is kicking in there are more parties, more happy hours, more get-togethers in general... and I don't think I've slowed down yet. No wonder I'm exhausted! Last week a couple of us went to a happy hour / outdoor concert, and there were hundreds of folks there. My girlfriends and I wound up running into an old exboyfriend of one of the girls in our 'group.' We don't see too much of her anymore... and we certainly hadn't seen the exboyfriend for a long long time. But he's funny, charming, and had a great group of friends with him. We all hit it off immediately. One of my girlfriends fell head over heels almost immediately for a soft-spoken, clean-cut, shy guy name R. All well and good, but my girlfriend might be his opposite -- she's funny, dynamic, speaks what's on her mind. That night all of us hung out till the wee hours -- just chatting, laughing -- all good.

Two days later I went to a bday celebration and who was there?! Two of the same guys from the other night. The Ex and R, the one my friend loved at this point. Great party; great friends, but ironically at the end of the night the four of us wound up going out to dinner and drinks together (plus the bday girl and her boyfriend)!! Two hours later, and several drinks beyond my limit I wound up kissing 'ex.' Handsome guy; charming guy; smart guy... but 90% sure he is still in player status... and 100% sure my friend would NOT appreciate anyone dating her ex. So there you have it, my first-ever girl-code violation!! To make matters worse we wound up having a date the next night -- oh yes, a John Denver tribute concert!!!!! Ha! Fun, fun, night and it finished off with some late night couch kissing. Innocent, but fun. And then the next night he came out with us again for a free concert in the park. Three days in a row. And then, two days after all that we went out to dinner... and had a good, straightforward talk. He could tell I was uncomfortable with this whole thing. And I, trying to be funny, wasn't funny at all, when I teased him about 'stalking me' all week. I was LOL, but the poor guy was crushed! Yikes, I have got to keep my mouth shut!!!!

Anyway, fast forward four nights (the 4th of July). I was out with friends for a relaxing evening. We just came from a backyard bbq, where we were rained out. Frizzy hair, soggy, not our best look. In we walked to one of our favorite hangouts, where there right in front of me was Ex! On a date! I knew it!! Are you kidding me?! Really? Is Denver really that small? (yes unfortunately). But I'm proud of myself. We stayed. My friend, the same friend that was dating Ex's friend, and I had a fun, fun night.... all a mere 10 feet from Ex. BTW she gave me reports throughout the night that they looked bored to tears. Whether or not that was true or not, I have to say I loved every update!!!! When Ex and his date left we said hi. Poor guy, he was scared to death. He barely gave me eye contact. Stood 4 paces away from his date... and had that awkward, I'm caught look. :-) Can't help but smile about that. To be honest I would much rather have him as a friend, than anything more... And I probably derserved this one since I did sort of violate the code. BTW, my friend who fell head over heels for Ex's friend, never heard back from that guy after the weekend. How is it that we both struck out?!!! Yeesh!

I hit a milestone -- I just turned 40 !

I can't believe it! Never in my wildest dreams did I think this day would come I'm 40! But I'll tell you what.... I did it in style. I spent my 40th bday in Vegas with 30 (yes 30) of my favorite friends! We drank, we gabbed, we ate, we played in the pool and in the sun.... I have zero complaints! Okay I have one complaint: on my bday night I wound up playing wingman for one of my girlfriends. She wound up kissing on a cutie pie Vince Vaughn look-alike. I wound up provide free marriage counseling to his buddy :-) Well, can't have everything..

And yes, I'm the one in the tiara!

"you're awesome" -- worst break-up line ever!

Another break-up! It happened a couple weeks ago. I was on a business trip and in the middle of my busiest day of the trip.... when I got 'the call.' And what were his parting words at the end of the call? 'You're awesome' ... and then click. Really? Could he be that cliche? Yuck yuck yuck! We were dating long distance so I get it that we had a tough road ahead. What I didn't care for were his words, or lack thereof. His reason for breaking up was that he didn't see an end. What? I don't understand what the heck he's trying to say? Shouldn't he say he doesn't see a future?

So here's what caused the break-up. Keith was supposed to come out to visit me in CO over memorial weekend. We planned this a couple months prior. He had an injury and because of that I hadn't had a chance to see him in person for almost 2 months... huge time gap. Anyway, three days before the weekend he tells me has finally booked his airline ticket, but he wouldn't be able to arrive until mid-day Saturday and would have to leave on Monday morning at 6am. I was pissed! He knew about this long long ago and yet he waited until the last minute and of course couldn't find flights!!! So... I brought it up to him. But I was super nice, non-confrontational. I even used a few pointers from an old psyschology class (when you...I feel... I wish -- recognize that one folks?!!) So I said when you put things off till the last minute, it makes me feel that I'm not a very high priority in your life. I wish that you had either booked earlier or asked me to book the ticket for you... or I could have flown out to visit him instead. I was calm, kept a smile in my voice and tried to stick to the facts.

Well, it back-fired. He said I was selfish and that I should have focused on the fact that we was visiting me even for a short while. Two days later he called and broke up with me in a phone call... citing my comments about the trip... and his parting words, "you're awesome."

That's not the real reason he ended things. He used it as an excuse. Geesh, what a chicken. Anyway, good riddance. I'm sure I can do better :-) Please tell me there are still some normal ones out there!!!!!!

May the best job win :-)

I had a job interview today. If I were to land this I would be looking at a nice promotion in title.. and hopefully salary. Tough competition though. My boyfriend says the only thing as exhilerating as interviewing for a job is getting on the court and playing basketball. Ha! I'm not sure I agree, but good for him! While I'm struggling moving up the ladder it turns out his bosses keep recruiting him for better positions!! Okay I'm super excited for him!! That's amazing! But, if I'm being honest there's a small bit of me that's jealous :-) We're long distance dating... and if we stay together in the long run, which I hope we do, the one to move is the one with the lesser career. uh oh. It's looking more and more like me!

And I've already broken rule #1

One of my best friends recently moved to South Africa. She's an attorney and decided to go there and volunteer full time at a legal aid clinic. She's representing schools needing more services, under-priveleged individuals... very noble. I've never traveled with a cause . I have to admit I've drawn a line -- vacations for me have been very self-indulgent. I'll take care of my noble causes when I get home. :-) Not sure that's a good thing, but it is what it is.
This same friend celebrated her 40th birthday last year. She rented a villa in Tuscany, Italy and invited her friends and family to join her. it had to be one of my favorite vacations ever. We drank, ate, drank more, ate more for two weeks straight. I'm still dieting to make up for those sins.

So... clearly I have a super cool friend. I'm really proud of her and I'm actually a bit envious too. The real reason I'm writing about her is that my 40th is coming up this summer. At first I planned a rafting trip through the Grand Canyon, but when I asked my friends who wanted to join me I only got one taker. Turns out my friends aren't exactly the outdoorsy type. So then I thought I'd do something oversees too, but with the economy the way it is.... it's not worth it. Too pricey. Not sure I could afford it, let alone my friends. What I've settled on is a trip to las vegas. Should be fun. I'm excited. Any suggestions what to do while I'm out there? So far 12 people have rsvp'd... mostly those same girlfriends that declined the rafting trip :-) The plan is to relax in the sunshine by day; eat and drink by night. The guys will gamble I'm sure. We girls will probably shop or sit in the sun more-so. I had a hard time getting my boyfriend to rsvp. Is there something girly about evites? He didn't know what to say and certainly wasn't in a hurry to rsvp. Is that a girl thing? I wanted him to be the first to confirm. Somehow that would prove his commitment to me, right? Oh well. One month post-invite he confirmed with a "vegas :-) " Yeesh!!!!

I know I don't do well traveling with boyfriends. I'm already breaking my very first rule. But, I'm hoping that long weekends don't count. Wish me luck!

Lesson 1 - Save traveling for your honeymoon!

Something you should know about me is that I love to travel. It's one of my greatest passions. I've been all over the world, having visited close to 30 countries so far... and my hope is that I find a partner who shares that same sense of adventure and curiosity. Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way that in the world of dating travel=break-up! I'm not kidding! One of my break-ups occurred in Russia; another in Chile; yet a third a week before a trip to China!! Are you kidding me?!

Rumble in Russia
In graduate school I met 'the perfect man' - intelligent, athletic, driven, kind. He was a class mate of mine. We shared the same classes, the same friends, and even the same hobbies. In hindsight we 'shared' way too much!! In fact, I'd say we were a bit co-dependent. Two years into our relationship we learned that his best friend was getting married... and the wedding would be in Scandinavia. Norway. North of the Arctic circle. This was shaping up to be a super amazing trip! So, to make it even more amazing I thought I would add an extra stop to our trip. For my boyfriend's birthday I bought him an airline ticket from Sweden to St. Petersberg, Russia. After all, if we're already in the neighborhood why not pop over to Russia too!? His response: "Hmm that's nice." My response: "Uh oh."

Instead of bringing us closer together, the trip planning actually drove us further apart. He wasn't interested in helping me find hotel rooms, pick cities, plan our routes. Was this our only issue? No. Our communication had been going down the tubes for a while. More-so our trip was just a catalyst for the breakup. The day before we left was the first time he looked at the itinerary I built... and of course he was disappointed. Well of course! But the thing that made him go over the edge is that I had not typed out an official itinerary that we could email out to his parents. He couldn't believe the audacity of that oversight. Yeesh... Needless to say, the argument led to more arguments led to our breakup by the time we arrived in St. Petersberg. And yet neither of us were willing to cut the trip short!! Even when our bed in our god-forsaken flea bag hotel really was infested in fleas! So many fleas that we had 100's of bites after one nite. Have you ever tried to ask for bug spray in Russian? :-) A couple times we got lost on the subway. Completely lost! Our guide book used the English alphabet to describe the sites. Of course in the Russian subway they used the Russian alphabet! We actually had some great laughs while we were there, but our relationship was broken. I moved out of the house we shared within a week of our arrival home. Lesson 1 learned: don't attempt traveling before marriage!! As stressful as traveling can potentially be, the two of you have to be committed... I mean committed!